Few days ago I talking with a friend
who told me that she
not dress extravagantly,
because she do not like mens turn heads
after her... "Maybe I
have a complex ..." she said me... I looked with amazement to her because I knew it the type of woman with an open mind, always secure on it, strong, confident knowledge and own forces... My first reaction was to smile... But next thought erased
the smile from my face because I
wondered myself if I had the courage to recognize so easily a complex...
Often we hear it said sarcastically about certain
people, that "is
complexed!" Who claims that,
tries to evaluate global
the other one, in a painful and profound way because he can
not bring other arguments to support his statement. And that's because generally, people know very vague
concept of complex and much less manage to
locate and interpret it.
None dictionary
definition do not clear up you
because is too lapidary. Here it says that a
complex is partially
or totally unconscious set of representations and memories,
formed in childhood based on
specific family or social relationships,
with strong value or emotional signification, that affect mental state
and subsequent behavior of a person.
The fact which attracts attention is that a complex
is rooted in childhood...
So, most studies
present the onset of human
complexes in the first years of life, from
the first contact with the
environment. The experts do not assimilate the complexes with the disease, considering that
they are part of life,
but in cases
where they do not solve
themselves the complexes can become
precursors or causes
of character disorders affecting both the child and future adult.
When a
complex or a series of complex
occurs, we appear in the eyes of other
people like stereotypical,
repetitive, excessive and poorly suited. But
how we appear in own eyes?
Since the appearance of man, his obsession was to be able to see him...
Probably the first mirror that he used
at the beginning of history was water
from a pond or
a lake. In this he
saw the face for
the first time. Since then, mirrors have
become indispensable to modern man ... But have you ever had occasion to go to amusement parks in a
"hall of mirrors curved"? Because of deformation, they make
when weak, when fat,
when short, when
high... All those images
with you in such situations
amused you... But if you look into
a straight mirror and your
brain refuses to perceive the
real picture? If it gives "errors" like a broken computer and it would show you in the mirror image that
you are too short, have a nose too big,
lips too thin,
thick waist, cellulite,
and many thousands of such "defects"???
The
feeling of inferiority or guilt
that they have not 90/60/90,
Angelina Jolie lips
or nose and flat abdomen of Chaterine Zeta Jones, for women,
that they have not height or muscles of do
not know which male celebrity, for
men, mental locks
the complexed person, not allowing it to enjoy his life and to succeed in what he propose... Sometimes,
the complex is difficult to identify,
manifested as such behavior as, images, emotions, that prevent adaptation to always new situations and problems.
And so suddenly the
mirror becomes your worst enemy, because it present in front of you
a picture which you refuse to assimilate with you... The person from the mirror
can not be you...
is too imperfect to be you…
You must look beyond the image
returned by the mirror... Do not deny you for a crooked nose or a few
extra pounds... What you reject now,
will destroy you and what you
hide in the back will hit in your back in the
future... Do not hide in anonymity just for a bad opinion
have about yourself, after all, with good and bad, that is you... Try to use the mirror
as measurement unit of
the way how you are seen by your
close one, for what is
you particularly special,
unique, in their eyes? Look in the mirror as would do a friend who wants to know, penetrate beyond the
image, and if you can
look in your own eyes, you already passed the
hardest test, because
then the man from the mirror is your friend.
Find the balance to reconcile with your
defects, to do so
the opinion about yourself to be the correct and to be less influenced by factors such as external beauty, intelligence,
parents, brothers or financial difficulties. Know thyself and you will never be in a position to float like
a boat in disarray
in the ocean called
life. Do not forget, complexes
define us as individuals, are part of our identity and particularly
our vulnerability, without which we would not be human beings.
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