marți, 21 august 2012

The complexes or the reality from mirror…


          Few days ago I talking with a friend who told me that she not dress extravagantly, because she do not like mens turn heads after her...  "Maybe I have a complex ..." she said me... I looked with amazement to her because I knew it the type of woman with an open mind, always secure on it, strong, confident knowledge and own forces... My first reaction was to smile...  But next thought erased the smile from my face because I wondered myself if I had the courage to recognize so easily a complex... 
          Often we hear it said sarcastically about certain people, that "is complexed!" Who claims that, tries to evaluate global the other one, in a painful and profound way because he can not bring other arguments to support his statement. And that's because generally, people know very vague concept of complex and much less manage to locate and interpret it.  
          None dictionary definition do not clear up you because is too lapidary. Here it says that a complex is partially or totally unconscious set of representations and memories, formed in childhood based on specific family or social relationships, with strong value or emotional signification, that affect mental state and subsequent behavior of a person.
          The fact which attracts attention is that a complex is rooted in childhood... So, most studies present the onset of human complexes in the first years of life, from the first contact with the environment. The experts do not assimilate the complexes with the disease, considering that they are part of life, but in cases where they do not solve themselves the complexes can become precursors or causes of character disorders affecting both the child and future adult.
          When a complex or a series of complex occurs, we appear in the eyes of other people like stereotypical, repetitive, excessive and poorly suited. But how we appear in own eyes?
          Since the appearance of man, his obsession was to be able to see him... Probably the first mirror that he used at the beginning of history was water from a pond or a lake. In this he saw the face for the first time. Since then, mirrors have become indispensable to modern man ... But have you ever had occasion to go to amusement parks in a "hall of mirrors curved"? Because of deformation, they make when weak, when fat, when short, when high... All those images with you in such situations amused you... But if you look into a straight  mirror and your brain refuses to perceive the real picture? If it gives "errors" like a broken computer and it would show you in the mirror image that you are too short, have a nose too big, lips too thin, thick waist, cellulite, and many thousands of such "defects"???
          The feeling of inferiority or guilt that they have not 90/60/90, Angelina Jolie lips or nose and flat abdomen of Chaterine Zeta Jones, for women, that they have not height or muscles of do not know which male celebrity, for men, mental locks the complexed person, not allowing it to enjoy his life and to succeed in what he propose... Sometimes, the complex is difficult to identify, manifested as such behavior as, images, emotions, that prevent adaptation to always new situations and problems. And so suddenly the mirror becomes your worst enemy, because it present in front of you a picture which you refuse to assimilate with you... The person from the mirror can not be you... is too imperfect to be you…
         You must look beyond the image returned by the mirror... Do not deny you for a crooked nose or a few extra pounds... What you reject now, will destroy you and what you hide in the back will hit in your back in the future... Do not hide in anonymity just for a bad opinion have about yourself, after all, with good and bad, that is you... Try to use the mirror as measurement unit of the way how you are seen by your close one, for what is you particularly special, unique, in their eyes? Look in the mirror as would do a friend who wants to know, penetrate beyond the image, and if you can look in your own eyes, you already passed the hardest test, because then the man from the mirror is your friend.
          Find the balance to reconcile with your defects, to do so the opinion about yourself to be the correct and to be less influenced by factors such as external beauty, intelligence, parents, brothers or financial difficulties. Know thyself and you will never be in a position to float like a boat in disarray in the ocean called life. Do not forget, complexes define us as individuals, are part of our identity and particularly our vulnerability, without which we would not be human beings.

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